For some reason I woke up today extremely aware of my surroundings, which leads me to feel extremely blessed. True, sometimes life leads you down a path that takes you away from where you want to be. Often this is necessary. You don't know where you would be had you not taken that path and ended up where you are now. I cannot regret any part of my life. Yes, there is room for improvement. Yes, there are still miles and miles until total happiness. Yes, I do still need to work harder. But I finally see both behind and before me. This is a road often traveled, but not often does one reach their ultimate destination. This is my statement. You have not yet seen the best of me. I am no longer afraid to show it to you. Thank you to all who have brought this before me. Those who have hurt me have only made me stronger. I wish you the best. Some are so troubled within themselves that they feel they must do unto others in ways that may hurt them, as to feel more secure about themselves.
And a special thank you to those who have been there beside me the whole time. You have watched me fall, fail to pick myself up, kick myself while I'm down and you have also seen me get off my knees, stand and cry with joy as I once again found myself. Often I lose myself to love. (Friends, relationships, family issues.) This is because there is so much within me, I cannot stand to lose it in any form. I give myself to those I care about completely. If you know me, you know this already. I will go through any troubles to help those I care about. I believe we all should. You cannot truly love another unless you love yourself. However, you cannot truly love yourself if you have never loved another, either. So once again, thank you for carrying me on the days I couldn't stand, let alone walk. Thank you for your honesty when I didn't want to take it. Thank you for allowing me to find my own way while still loving me as you watched me do wrong to myself.
For every action, there is a reaction.
You lose friendships, lovers, burn bridges and ultimately all you've done is show people how unhappy you are with yourself.
I am sorry to those who are unhappy. I do wish you could look within yourself to find the truth rather than point out your own truths in others and try to hurt them. Heal yourself. Then turn to others for support. None can fix what is broken but you. Trust me, I know.
I have spent many years blaming others, hurting others and cheating myself out of what I really want. I felt like I didn't deserve it. So if I didn't, why should you? This is unfair. This is cruel. And quite frankly, immature. Wake up, grow up, and buy a mirror. Be good to yourself. Until you do that you will never know what it means to truly love another human being of any kind, whether it be a family member, friend, or lover.
As I type all of this, I am aware that not all will read it. This does sadden me somewhat, since those that know me are aware when I have something to say, there is usually nothing more truthful. However, I do feel that those who need to read it will. Take something from it, if you don't at least take this moment to close your eyes and look around you. Think about all you have physically, mentally and emotionally. We are all blessed. Be sure to show those you care about what they truly mean to you. Not everyone does. And sadly, not everyone knows.
If you received this you know I care about you. Take it to heart.
And have a beautiful week. Have a beautiful life. You are loved.
Each and every day is up to you.
"The way you think creates the world around you" -Dexter
Sarah Mae Mills <3
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