Predator or Prey

What did I do?
I haven't slept yet
I can't lay my head down
For fear that I won't wake up
Unclean powder stains my skin
I can feel dirt & disappointment
Settling in when I tell you
That I can't shower
Because I'm afraid I'll drown
When the water comes pouring down
Maybe I could get sick
To feel better, I just want
To feel better
Here I lay, wasting away
Within myself
You draw me a bath & say
Everything will be okay
But I can't feel my hands
& I can't see straight
I feel myself losing total control
I can't feel my body, no
& I can't stop shaking
Take my hand in yours, please
Help me feel I'm still alive
Right now I can't tell
I'm not sure I'm even breathing
I need to be revived
Cold water dripping down my spine
I start to cry
I've never felt so happy
To be alive
I can feel my hands
& I can see
Try to help carry me, please
Before the door closes
& I feel hopeless again
Hopeless, helpless, oh silly me
What have I done