Cosmos

Even through the veil of smoke
Green pierces me
Which is odd
Because when I look into you,
I feel black and white movies
And only a splash of red
As it transfers from my lips onto yours
Velvet pours into my ears and now
It's running through my veins
As your cool sound creates clouds
Over my bed and waves under my sheets
There's a storm coming
Most storms are named after women
This storm comes straight from the cosmos
Wash over me

Antiqued and Handwritten

Weathered at the edges
Like the eyes I use
To gaze upon your letter
Beautifull crafted sentences
Your words hold the love I have for language
The love I've held
For you
What a beautiful frame
A cold, hard exterior for your eloquent words
Yet the edges have frayed
I lack the polish you deserve
Stained pages from days of downpour
The ink, flourished, so lovely
I am weathered at the edges
Beautifully torn
And still,
I flourish.

Untitled.

You manipulated me into submission
with the promise of an untouchable
romance.

You kissed me
into misery.

Immersion

Run away with me...
Meet me on the other side of fear
and dive into the unknown.
The water is warm,
and I've been waiting for you.

Overcast

Love my broken pieces

Just as they are

Kiss every tear

Beneath the mask

And never complain

That it's raining. 

Untitled.

You walk through the trees and feel the daylight on your face and you thank God for this moment. You allow the warmth to soak into your skin and feel the grace of Mother Nature as she blesses you with a moment of clarity.

But I would like to know...
What do you feel when the night blankets the sky,
and the stars come out to shine a light on your demons?
Do you feel regret?
Do you cover your face with a blanket and continue to pretend you're the victim?
Or do you face those demons and ask for forgiveness?

When you lay your head to rest,
do you see my broken smile?
Do you see my trembling lip and feel the pit in your stomach?
Do you remember the fear in my eyes reflecting the rage in yours?
The only thing that would unite us now would be that moment before sleep,
the fear of falling into a subconscious world of horror and pain and regret.
But do you even feel it?
Do you see the tear stains on my cheeks and the blood stains on my arms?
I see it, always.
Can you sleep at night?

You travel and you laugh and you play.
You visit the people who believe you were the force for good, and I, the demon.
Because they make you feel superior.
They make you feel like you were right.
There is nothing right or superior about what you've done.
I wonder how you can look our friends in the eye and smile.
I wonder how you can keep a secret like that for so long.
The monster that sleeps has been awakened.
He had your face. Your eyes. Your hands.
His voice was yours, but vicious and coarse.
This monster may be sleeping again,
but he won't stay asleep for long.
He will come to play, and they will learn your truth.

I've learned my truth.
I walk through the trees and feel the daylight on my face and I thank the Universe for this moment.
I allow the warmth to soak into my skin and feel the grace of Mother Nature as she blesses me with a moment of clarity.
If I can survive you, I can thrive through anything.
Mother Nature blesses me with hope, with self-love, with courage.
She fills my days with a cool breeze of resolve that karma is very real.
Karma has been holding me with a gentle hand, waiting for the moment...
All things have their moment.
You will have your moment.

This moment, is mine.

Universal Lovemaking

I'd like to say
I'm waiting for you
The one whose magic matches mine
But the truth is,
I'm perfectly happy
With stars in my eyes
Diving into constellations
Growing into my soul's divine.

The Wolf

Loving you
Was poetry,

I could never put
Into words.

Sovereign

I reached out for years
Hoping someone would catch me
Until one day, I realized...

It was me I was waiting for,
all along.

Resilience

I am not beautiful

because

of hips like water

or sun-kissed skin. 

I am beautiful

because

of lips, stained by love

and because

of every

strength

within. 

A Gift for the Mariana Trench

I wish they would stop asking.
Trying to heal a broken heart,
Is hard enough.
Without the prying eyes.
Pushing through the curtains,
I use to hide a broken smile.
I want to leave you behind.
Tie up your memory,
In a pretty little bow.
And drop it in the ocean.
Never to be heard from,
Again.

Illusions

When you're away 

I long for your skin on my skin

When you're away

I long for your body beneath mine

When you're away

I long for your lips on my everything

When you're away

I long for your breath on my neck

Be it 5 days, 

5 hours, 

or 5 minutes.

I long for you. 

Veils

You are the light that veils the mountains as the moon drifts off to sleep

You are the warmth on my skin while the unforgiving wind sends shivers through me

You are the crisp acceptance of truth as my soul drowns, alone

With you, I have air

I have sun

I have warmth

I have laughter

And you,

You have all of me.

The Show Goes On Without You

I'm standing in the hallway near the kitchen.
Watching her hips move slightly as she dusts off the window pane.
Every time she leans forward her breasts smear the dirt she's attempting to remove.
It always turned me on to see her natural state in such an exotic manner.
This is what I miss the most. Her ghost leaves a scent that only I can recognize.
Others say it's long since gone, but I can still see her there.
I can still smell her lingering sweetness as her memory passes by me,
 to lay down after another one of our endless arguments.
She cleaned when she was upset; as if to sort away all of the pain I caused her.
It's only when she's gone I realize how little I did to really love her.
The curve of her hips to her legs presses against the corners of the couch,
 as if to hide her exhaustion from me. I know she's tired of me.
I grasp the edges of this fading memory as if I could grab her by the arm and force her to stay.
But she has been gone a long time. And I am still here, begging her to come home.
But this was never her home. I built a cage for the woman I loved.
A stage for her to entertain me. I stared at her body instead of into her soul.
I answered her questions before she asked them.
I never had time to see her, to hear her, to feel her...
I pushed her from room to room, away from me further, every time.
I begged to own her body rather than asked her to share her magic with me.
Her love-making was magic that I pretended was a show to buy tickets for,
and I could be the only audience member, but I was never in the show.
Now that show plays in my memories,
and I would give anything to turn my worthless tickets
Into a resume, into a headshot, into a chance to worship that magic.
But I didn't listen, I didn't feel, I didn't see her. So she gave away my part..
When I didn't even know there was an understudy. 

A Forest of Me

I’ve been trying to find my way through the darkness. I know it isn’t night, because my soul finds comfort in the stars and the moon- who have always had a way of directing me when the sun has laid to rest. This is emptiness. This is the realization that even though there are those who offer love and support, through this, I must travel alone. I must stumble through the void and fumble for the pieces of myself I have lost along my journey with him. Still, this isn’t loneliness. Because each time I find a new piece, I can feel something new intertwining like vines into my veins. My roots dig deeper into the earth. I blossom. I am no longer tattered bits of fabric for another man to tear. As I wade through the deep, my eyes begin to adjust. Every new path shimmers. I am comforted now by my own company. I may be covered in scars and stitches, but I’ve discovered my very own diamond thread. ________ He’s a coward for all of the ways he refuses to accept what he did. The darkness is no place for a coward. This is the hallowed ground where I’ve grown to accept my demons. I’ve learned to love my darkness, as my darkness has loved me. I dare you to challenge me here.

Ragdoll

Ragdoll-
You gave it a whole new meaning
I became the girl
With her mouth sewn shut
In fear
Of waking up your jealous streak
Of creating another fight
Of hearing you yell at me
And question me-
What's wrong with you?
Why are you so broken?
You would scream,
So I became silent
Because I didn't have an answer

Ragdoll-
You gave it a whole new meaning
When you threw me back in your bedroom
And told me I belong to you
You locked me in
Held me down,
I ran away, crying and asking
For help
And so you helped,
You grabbed me
With a new introduction
Now my face and your floor have a new relationship


Ragdoll-
I gave it a whole new meaning
When I allowed your feelings to become more important than my own
When I allowed your needs to be more important than my own
Afraid of becoming the villain,
I instead became a victim
A helpless doll
With threads torn apart
Parts missing
And no recollection of who I used to be

I have scars,
but I will own them
I will take my needle and thread
Sew my pieces back together
Create
A whole new fabric of reality
I will wipe the dirt from my knees
The stains from my cheeks
The blood from my hands
And reclaim my scars
As a reminder
To never forget,
And to never allow
Someone else
To change the meaning of who I am

Ragdoll
I am a broken woman,
And I am a fearless woman
Molded by the souls who have tried to tear me apart
And in doing so,
Forged the most beautifully imperfect structure
One that has seen struggle, pain, humiliation.
And I have risen
Never to be torn apart
Because I am stitched with diamonds in my heart
And no one can take that from me.

Ragdoll